• Maya Benberry

Dating in Reality vs Reality TV Show Dating. Part I: HOW/WHY WE FALL IN “LOVE” SO FAST

Updated: Sep 25, 2019

True Love

To some, it’s so easy to judge those that you see on television. I’ve been guilty of it myself. Watching a show and not understanding why or how it’s even possible for a girl to just meet a guy and feel like she’s found the one. Until. I BECAME HER. It’s something about meeting a guy on television that intensifies everything times A MILLION. Maybe it’s because prior into moving into the house, you’re isolated from the outside world. No cell phone. No social media distractions. No internet. NOTHING. Just you. ALONE. In a hotel room, watching tv for days on end until its time to finally move into the house. So when you finally do get that ounce of freedom and you are FINALLY around other people, you’re so quick to skim through your cast mates and pick the one that you best see fit. I can say that 99% of us don’t ever go on these shows thinking that we would leave in love but 99% of us, DO!

In the real world, when you meet someone out, you exchange numbers or social media info, and go on about your day. That space gives you enough time to creep their social media if you want to, feel them out via text and gives you that space to kind of feel things out. On a reality tv show, you meet someone and guess what?!?! YOU GUYS AUTOMATICALLY “MOVE IN TOGETHER”. For 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 4-5 weeks (and 3 months if you’re on The Bachelor or Big Brother), you are forced to see every possible side of your potential partner. You see what they look like in the morning, their cleaning habits, how often they shower, and even how they keep their room clean. I believe that this is why people fall in love OR in hate with someone so quickly. When you have absolutely nothing to do besides lay up and talk. Feelings have no choice but to multiply at rapid speeds. In the real world, you have distractions such as your friends or your cell phone, you can leave as you please and do what ever you want. In the reality tv world, YOU HAVE NOTHING.

Once you have lived with someone for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 5 weeks, you start to feel like you can’t live without them in the outside world. It becomes such a norm sleeping in that crappy ass twin size beds snuggled up with one another. Knowing that if you can’t find your boo, all you have to do is ask your cast mates and they’ll tell you exactly where he/she is. Let's also add in the fact of being comfortable and secure in knowing that your partner isn’t being a hoe on IG because they have NO PHONE lol and all that they really have to entertain them IS YOU. In the reality tv world environment, connecting on an emotional level is UNAVOIDABLE. The emotions that you, the viewers see, are REAL and PURE.

We all enter this environment to have fun and to let loose, never to tap in deep with our emotions or ourselves. I think it’s something about the cameras that bring out the most vulnerable sides of people. Something that doesn’t happen in the real world. In the real world, you can distract yourself with people and things but in reality tv, you can’t. You’re forced to speak about your feelings and are asked "why" during interviews you reacted the way that you do. Those interviews make you really think and realize your wrongs and you can’t wait until it's over so that you can head back into the house to fix things with your partner. That’s something that doesn’t happen in the real world. You’re not as open minded to fix things or to MAKE them work. In the real world. you always have in the back of your mind that there is always other fish in the sea but when you’re away filming in the house, there is only ONE fish you see.

To be continued…


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